Here I am a month and a half away from being 30 years old, and the question of “What is God’s plan for my life?” still plagues me. On a deeper level, my question sounds more like, “What was the purpose of me growing up in a different culture and dearly loving that culture, when everything seems to be pointing to me staying in Columbia, South Carolina?” Why was I given the gift of Vienna? I am still not 100% sure why, but I think it may be slowly becoming clearer for the phase of life I am in at the moment. I think that it is very possible (and probable) that the purpose may change as the phases of my life change.
I am an adult missionary kid. At times I feel that being an adult MK has been more difficult than being a child MK. Yes, completing the 2nd half of 8th grade in America, right after having received the most frightening haircut the world has ever seen, was extremely difficult. My insides sometimes turn just thinking back on those experiences. Yes, it was hard saying good-bye to friends and family on either side of the ocean. I never fit in completely there. I definitely did not fit in here. As an adult MK, I find that when I am here, I am void of an American childhood, but when I am in Vienna, I am now void of an Austrian adulthood. Therefore, it is really hard to feel whole. It is almost like being torn between two different existences.
Here, I do not have the luxury of having family close by. My parents are witnessing the growth of my children through a computer screen. I am extremely grateful for Skype, but it is not the same as having grandparents in the same city, state or country for that matter.
So why the heck did I grow up in Austria? I don’t know for sure. But what I do know is that when I was going through countless transitions in North America or Europe, there were people who were always there and always extending love. That is what made the difference. That is why I can look back on my MK childhood and count myself blessed.
Now at almost 30 years of age I am finding that it is now my turn to be that constant person for people coming back to the States, for people whose lives are in upheaval, for people who just don’t fit in. I want to be that person who is always there, always extending love and creating wonderful memories for the people that come and go in my life. Maybe that is why Vienna was allowed to flow through my veins.
