A few days after Eden was born, I started feeling anxious, maybe even a bit desperate. I just didn't know how I was going to be able to handle a newborn and my two wonderful and highly energetic boys. I think my breathing and heartbeat might have even gotten faster. But then I had this thought. Instead of just taking it a day at a time, because I am not sure I can even handle day, I was going to look for one God given grace at a time. With the plan to open my eyes and look for grace, my anxiety disappeared like clouds after a rainstorm.
Eden is now almost four weeks old, and she has pretty severe reflux (we think). There is a lot of squirming, crying, fussing, screaming, spitting, coughing on her part, and a lot of headaches, questions, aching backs, tired eyes and arms, and just wishing it all away on our part. It can be overwhelming. So today Eden and I were back at the doctor because her prescribed medicine was not doing the trick. I teared up on the way there. I am just so tired. I wasn't looking for the grace blessings. They clearly found me. Our usual doctor wasn't there today, so I had to see a new one. It turned out being the pediatrician who first looked at Eden in the hospital. She was a familiar face, an understanding nod, an unhurried answer giver. I needed that.
So now we are waiting for a stronger reflux medicine to be filled. I am praying this does the trick, and my baby girl starts to feel a lot better soon. In the meantime, I am thankful that God knows what I need, even when I am too tired to even know it myself.
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